[Sophia M.]

Front Porch Forum: “Was I wrong to confront my daughter-in-law about what she said online?” (11/01/2025)​

Image source: Pixabay/Pexels

Pull up a seat, GrayViners. “The Secret Facebook Post” found something online she can’t unsee—and now a quiet family tension has spilled into the open. What would you do if a few words on social media stirred a storm at home?

Hi all,

I don’t usually get involved in social media, but last week a neighbor showed me a post my daughter-in-law made on Facebook. It said something like, “It’s exhausting when certain relatives think they know what’s best for your kids,” followed by an eye-roll emoji.

I had just visited them the weekend before, and during that visit, I’d suggested that my grandson might need more rest because he looked pale and tired. It wasn’t meant as criticism, just concern. But now I can’t help but wonder if that post was about me.

When I gently asked her if it was, she got defensive and said, “If the shoe fits.” My son has been quiet ever since, and now I feel like I’ve been cast as the meddling mother-in-law when all I wanted was to help.

Am I being too sensitive, or was it disrespectful for her to air something like that publicly?

Sincerely,
The Secret Facebook Post

What do you think, GrayViners? Should she have let it go—or was she right to ask her daughter-in-law about it? Have you ever dealt with a family disagreement that played out online? Share your thoughts below, and if you’ve got a story or question of your own, start a new conversation here.

 

[terriespell]

My feelings are she didn’t need to, just could of confronted you..But maybe she thought she could be validated posting it.Sad to think we feel more seen by people we don’t know.

 

[Treetops]

Probably both. These new parents are very sensitive folks. I guess, unless your asked for your advice, you have to bite your tongue. She just does what many, including my own, do. Air their dirty laundry, for clicks. Group think. In that, case, I heard what was being said, and ignored, with no response. I figured, if you know me, you know my heart. If you don`t, you don`t matter. Hang in there, it`s tough to be in this position.

 

[techgrandma]

Best to never cross a daughter in law in any matter. They can be very vindictive and in the process you may lose a son and grand kids. A daughter you have for ever a son only until he has a wife.

Very true. My daughter-in-law had it against me for a long time. Slowly she alienated my son from his sisters and then me. I have not seen or talked to any of them since after Christmas last year. I was told not to contact the children either, not even to send them a Valentine card. It has been so hard, but I was making myself sick worrying about them and wishing I could say things. Here it is almost a year later and nothing has changed except now they have also alienated is Grandmother and aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews. This one person has ripped apart a very caring family because her mother died and she thought we did not do enough. I personally met the woman once. They lived several states away and she never came close to all of us. I do go from crying to being angry. I pray for them every day. Please walk like you are on egg shells if you have a daughter-in-law like mine. There were warning signs and I ignored them. Be careful.

 

[NIBOR0]

You should never share your dirty laundry online. That includes bad comments about family matters. Keep them to yourself or talk to another family member about it. I feel for you.

 

[glojeans13]

Hello, you all may feel that I don’t have a voice in this conversation because I never had children. therefore , what do I know but coming from the outside looking in my opinion is a bit more softer. You may not feel this is correct, but perhaps if she apologizes to her daughter-in-law, it may start a more positive attitude from the daughter-in-law. I know you’re all gonna say what does she have to apologize for and sometimes it’s not who’s the “bigger“ of the two but who is willing to lead by example.