A gentleman walks into the New York Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer starts with the usual questions: “Are you allergic to anything?”

“Yes, sir,” the man replies. “Caffeine. Can’t drink coffee.”

“Noted,” says the interviewer. “Ever serve in the military?”

“Sure did. One tour in Afghanistan.”

“Well, that earns you five extra points right off the bat,” the interviewer nods. “Any service-related injuries?”

The man nods. “Unfortunately, yes. A blast took out both my, uh… privates.”

The interviewer winces, then quickly says, “Wounded in service—thank you for your sacrifice. That gives you even more points. Looks like you’re a shoo-in. We’d be proud to have you. You can start tomorrow.”

Then he adds, “Normal hours are 8 to 4, but you don’t need to show up until 10.”

The man blinks. “If it starts at 8, why am I coming in at 10?”

The interviewer leans in and says with a grin, “Well, this is a government job. For the first two hours, most of us are just standing around drinking coffee and, uh… adjusting ourselves. Figured you wouldn’t have much use for that part.”