Advice column exposes: These grandparents refuse to be in this child’s life–What would you do?

In the tapestry of family life, the threads of expectation and reality can sometimes weave a pattern that's far from what we envisioned. This is especially true when it comes to the roles grandparents play in the lives of their grandchildren.

A recent advice column from the renowned Dear Abby has brought to light a situation that many families may find relatable, sparking a conversation about the delicate balance between hope and acceptance.



A young mother in Illinois, reached out to Abby with a heart-wrenching dilemma. She and her husband had high hopes for an involved grandparental presence in their daughter's life, only to find themselves feeling isolated and disappointed.

According to her, before her birth, “my parents and his all were eagerly awaiting her arrival and discussing their plans for what life as new grandparents would be. We just “knew” they would be involved so much it would drive us crazy.” But what happened was the exact opposite.

Her parents, busy with work and caring for her 5-year-old half-brother with autism, and her in-laws, absorbed in their own leisure activities, have not met the expectations set before her daughter was born.

She said can cut her parents “some slack” due to the heavy responsibilities on their plate, she complains that “His parents, on the other hand, aren’t workaholics.”


compressed-pexels-juanpphotoandvideo-1109238.jpeg
A mother expresses her disappointment that her parents and in-laws are not as involved with her daughter as she had hoped. Image source: Pexels / Juan Pablo Serrano.



The sense of abandonment is compounded by her in-laws' apparent preference for hobbies over spending time with their granddaughter.

The young mother's disappointment is palpable as she describes her parents' inability to attend her daughter's second birthday party, despite prior knowledge of the event.

While she acknowledges that the role of a grandparent is different since “they are getting a taste of freedom from raising children” she also says that “they are not free child care to me. They are my family.”

Instead, she expresses that she just wants their plans to turn into a reality and for them to not miss out on her daughter.



For our readers at The GrayVine, this discussion may resonate deeply. Perhaps you've experienced similar situations with your own children and grandchildren, or maybe you're a grandparent grappling with the balance between personal freedom and family obligations.

Remember, while the roles of grandparents and the expectations of their involvement may shift over time, the love and connection within a family can still flourish in a multitude of ways.

It's about finding the balance that works for everyone involved and embracing the differences in your family life.

Key Takeaways

  • A mother expresses her disappointment that her parents and in-laws are not as involved with her daughter as she had hoped.
  • The mother's parents are busy working full-time and caring for her half-brother with autism, while her in-laws prioritise their leisure activities.
  • The mother feels her family is missing out on her daughter’s life and is upset they’re choosing other activities over her grandchild's birthday party.
  • Dear Abby advises the mother to accept the situation with her in-laws and focus her energy elsewhere, rather than dwelling on her disappointment.

What would you do, if you were the grandparents in this situation? Have you faced challenges with grandparent involvement in your family? We’d love to hear your insights on this topic in the comments below!
 
Last edited:

Join the conversation

News, deals, games, and bargains for Americans over 60. From everyday expenses like groceries and eating out, to electronics, fashion and travel, The GrayVine is all about helping you make your money go further.

The GrayVine

The GrayVine searches for the best deals, discounts, and bargains for over 60's. From everyday expenses like groceries and eating out, to electronics, fashion and travel, we're all about helping you make your money go further.
  1. New members
  2. Jokes & Fun
  3. Photography
  4. Nostalgia / Yesterday's America
  5. Money Saving Hacks
  6. Offtopic / Everything else
  7. News & Politics
Share With a Friend
Change Weather Zip code ×
Change Petrol Postcode×