Are you accidentally coming off as a know-it-all? Here are 17 phrases that might be rubbing people the wrong way
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We’ve all encountered them—the folks who just can’t help but correct, clarify, or “enlighten” others at every turn.
Whether it’s at a family dinner or during a casual chat with friends, there’s always that one person who seems to turn every conversation into a pop quiz.
But here’s the twist: sometimes, without realizing it, we may be the ones using those phrases that sound more smug than smart.
At The GrayVine, we believe conversations should build connection—not competition.
So here are 17 common phrases that might unintentionally come off as condescending or dismissive, along with gentle reminders about why they might not land the way you think.
Let’s take a look at what to avoid—and how to keep the conversation friendly, open, and judgment-free.
This one’s a classic. It rarely adds anything helpful and almost always feels like a “gotcha” moment.
Unless someone is asking for a precise correction, this phrase often just makes the speaker sound like they’re trying to win the conversation.
Even if it feels simple to you, saying so can come across as dismissive.
Life is full of complexities, and what’s obvious to one person may be new to someone else!
This vague phrase can feel like a power play.
If you don’t remember where you saw it, it may be better to simply share your thought without framing it as an authority.
This tiny word packs a punch. Often used to correct others, it signals that someone’s about to be one-upped.
Consider softening the approach if a correction is truly needed.
Helpful only when asked.
Otherwise, it can sound like you’re assuming someone didn’t understand something that they may very well have.
Oof. This one can be especially hurtful.
It implies that if someone doesn’t know something, they must be out of touch.
This phrase shuts people out and suggests they’re not capable of grasping what you’re saying.
It’s more alienating than enlightening.
Let’s be honest: when a sentence starts this way, offense usually follows.
If something might hurt someone’s feelings, it’s worth rephrasing or pausing altogether!
It’s rarely a sincere question.
Instead, it often feels like a challenge—meant to embarrass rather than inform.
What’s common to one person might be completely new to another.
This phrase stops conversations and can make others feel foolish.
Unless you’re referencing specific sources, this tends to come across as bluffing your way through a point.
If it’s important, cite it clearly—or just share your perspective.
Instead of celebrating a shared discovery, this phrase turns a moment of connection into a subtle brag.
Experience can be valuable—but using this to invalidate someone else’s viewpoint can make it feel like a dismissal rather than a contribution.
Genuine help is wonderful when it’s asked for.
Unsolicited, though, it can make someone feel like you don’t believe they’re capable.
Advice is only helpful when the other person is open to it.
Otherwise, it might feel like judgment or control disguised as concern.
While it sounds tentative, it often serves as a soft correction—and can still make the other person feel wrong.
On the surface, this sounds respectful.
But it can sometimes be a way of ending the discussion without really hearing the other person out!
Most of us don’t mean to come across as arrogant or dismissive.
Sometimes, we’re just excited to share knowledge.
Other times, we may feel nervous or unsure and try to cover it up with confidence.
Whatever the reason, being aware of how our words affect others can go a long way toward keeping conversations kind and inclusive.
Here are a few simple ways to share your thoughts without stepping on toes:
At the end of the day, we all want to feel heard and respected. By choosing our words with a little more care and curiosity, we can turn everyday conversations into moments of connection—not competition.
The goal isn’t to be perfect, but to stay open, thoughtful, and kind as we keep learning from one another.
Read next: How this man doubled his friends at 65 by embracing this simple tech trick (You can too!)
Have you caught yourself using one of these phrases? Or been on the receiving end of a know-it-all moment? We’d love to hear your stories—whether they made you laugh, cringe, or change the way you talk.
At The GrayVine, we’re all about growing and learning—without the ego. Let’s keep the conversation going, together.
Whether it’s at a family dinner or during a casual chat with friends, there’s always that one person who seems to turn every conversation into a pop quiz.
But here’s the twist: sometimes, without realizing it, we may be the ones using those phrases that sound more smug than smart.
At The GrayVine, we believe conversations should build connection—not competition.
So here are 17 common phrases that might unintentionally come off as condescending or dismissive, along with gentle reminders about why they might not land the way you think.
Let’s take a look at what to avoid—and how to keep the conversation friendly, open, and judgment-free.
Certain phrases can unintentionally shut down conversations—learning to spot them can help us connect more thoughtfully. Image Source: Pexels / Budgeron Bach.
1. “Well, technically…”
This one’s a classic. It rarely adds anything helpful and almost always feels like a “gotcha” moment.
Unless someone is asking for a precise correction, this phrase often just makes the speaker sound like they’re trying to win the conversation.
2. “It’s simple.”
Even if it feels simple to you, saying so can come across as dismissive.
Life is full of complexities, and what’s obvious to one person may be new to someone else!
3. “I read somewhere that…”
This vague phrase can feel like a power play.
If you don’t remember where you saw it, it may be better to simply share your thought without framing it as an authority.
4. “Actually…”
This tiny word packs a punch. Often used to correct others, it signals that someone’s about to be one-upped.
Consider softening the approach if a correction is truly needed.
Also read: A “gentle” thank you for a lifetime of holding others: Cheers to our family and friends who have helped us grow
5. “Let me explain.”
Helpful only when asked.
Otherwise, it can sound like you’re assuming someone didn’t understand something that they may very well have.
6. “Everyone knows that.”
Oof. This one can be especially hurtful.
It implies that if someone doesn’t know something, they must be out of touch.
7. “You wouldn’t understand.”
This phrase shuts people out and suggests they’re not capable of grasping what you’re saying.
It’s more alienating than enlightening.
8. “No offense, but…”
Let’s be honest: when a sentence starts this way, offense usually follows.
If something might hurt someone’s feelings, it’s worth rephrasing or pausing altogether!
Also read: Feeling off lately? What researchers say might be missing from your daily routine
9. “Do you even know what that means?”
It’s rarely a sincere question.
Instead, it often feels like a challenge—meant to embarrass rather than inform.
10. “It’s common sense.”
What’s common to one person might be completely new to another.
This phrase stops conversations and can make others feel foolish.
11. “I’ve done my research.”
Unless you’re referencing specific sources, this tends to come across as bluffing your way through a point.
If it’s important, cite it clearly—or just share your perspective.
12. “I’ve known that for ages.”
Instead of celebrating a shared discovery, this phrase turns a moment of connection into a subtle brag.
Also read: Discover the 3 surprising secrets to happiness from the world's happiest country—are you missing out?
13. “In my experience…”
Experience can be valuable—but using this to invalidate someone else’s viewpoint can make it feel like a dismissal rather than a contribution.
14. “Let me help you with that.”
Genuine help is wonderful when it’s asked for.
Unsolicited, though, it can make someone feel like you don’t believe they’re capable.
15. “Here’s what you should do.”
Advice is only helpful when the other person is open to it.
Otherwise, it might feel like judgment or control disguised as concern.
16. “I’m pretty sure…”
While it sounds tentative, it often serves as a soft correction—and can still make the other person feel wrong.
17. “Let’s agree to disagree.”
On the surface, this sounds respectful.
But it can sometimes be a way of ending the discussion without really hearing the other person out!
A little self-awareness goes a long way in keeping conversations kind, open, and engaging. Image Source: Pexels / Photo By: Kaboompics.com.
Also read: Looking for Affordable Fun? Here Are 17 Brilliant Activities for Older Adults That Won’t Break the Bank!
Why do we say these things?
Most of us don’t mean to come across as arrogant or dismissive.
Sometimes, we’re just excited to share knowledge.
Other times, we may feel nervous or unsure and try to cover it up with confidence.
Whatever the reason, being aware of how our words affect others can go a long way toward keeping conversations kind and inclusive.
Also read: Struggling to make friends as an adult? Discover the surprising ways 7 people built meaningful connections!
How to keep conversations warm and welcoming
Here are a few simple ways to share your thoughts without stepping on toes:
- Ask instead of correcting. Try: “That’s interesting—where did you hear that?”
- Speak from your perspective. Use “I” statements instead of making universal claims.
- Stay curious. Remember, everyone has something to teach.
- Let others finish. Listening can be more powerful than speaking.
At the end of the day, we all want to feel heard and respected. By choosing our words with a little more care and curiosity, we can turn everyday conversations into moments of connection—not competition.
The goal isn’t to be perfect, but to stay open, thoughtful, and kind as we keep learning from one another.
Read next: How this man doubled his friends at 65 by embracing this simple tech trick (You can too!)
Have you caught yourself using one of these phrases? Or been on the receiving end of a know-it-all moment? We’d love to hear your stories—whether they made you laugh, cringe, or change the way you talk.
At The GrayVine, we’re all about growing and learning—without the ego. Let’s keep the conversation going, together.
