Theresa Wilbanks didn’t recognize the woman staring back at her in the mirror.

Two years into caring for her elderly father, her days had become a blur of doctor visits, daily hygiene routines, and endless emotional labor.

The anger, the resentment—it wasn’t just about being tired. It was about losing herself.

A quiet crisis in homes across America​

“I had become angry and resentful and burned out from prioritizing his well-being over mine,” Wilbanks recalls.

That moment would eventually lead her to write Navigating the Caregiver River, a guidebook to help others steer through the same treacherous waters.

Her story is one of many in a quiet epidemic sweeping through homes across America: caregiver burnout.

It doesn’t always begin with exhaustion. Sometimes it starts with forgetting things you normally wouldn’t.

Or snapping at a loved one, only to immediately feel regret. Sometimes it's emotional numbness that creeps in gradually, like fog settling over your life.

What the numbers are saying​

According to a 2023 AARP survey, nearly half of caregivers reported increased emotional stress, and over a third experienced physical strain.

Younger caregivers, especially those under 35, faced the most anxiety, while women reported greater emotional tolls than men. Four in ten said they rarely—if ever—feel at ease.

And this isn’t just being tired. This is burnout. It’s what happens when you’ve been sprinting for months—or years—without a finish line in sight.

Maybe it’s guilt. Maybe it’s pride. Maybe it’s both.

Asking for help isn't weakness—it's wisdom​

Former Wisconsin Governor Marty Schreiber cared for his wife, Elaine, during her battle with Alzheimer’s. For 18 years, he tried to do everything himself.

“That was one of my biggest mistakes,” he admits that he should have asked for help sooner.

Eventually, Schreiber began asking his daughters to help when they visited. He also leaned on friends to sit with Elaine, even just for a few hours.

It wasn’t about handing off responsibility. It was about survival.

You don't have to do this alone​

You don’t have to juggle everything on your own. Tools like CareCalendar, CaringBridge, and Give InKind can help you organize meals, visits, and other support—so you can breathe a little easier and focus on what matters most.

Local area agencies on aging can truly be lifelines, helping caregivers find nearby resources, guidance, and the kind of support that reminds you you’re not alone in this.



Here’s what matters most—this isn’t something you have to do by yourself.

Mary Lou Falcone didn’t see it coming. Her husband, Nicky Zann, was diagnosed with Lewy body dementia in 2020.

And like many, she tried to shoulder it all until she couldn’t anymore.

“I’m not a joiner by nature,” she says. “But joining a local Lewy body dementia support group was one of the best things I ever did.”

The power of community​

Support groups offer more than shared stories. They provide a mirror—a reflection of yourself in someone else’s experience—and a reminder that you're not the only one navigating this terrain.



Jerry Bishop, who’s been caregiving for his wife for over 30 years, calls these groups a “lifeline.”

He leads a chapter of the Well Spouse Association and says knowing you’re not alone “makes a huge difference.”

Learning your limits and honoring them​

One of the hardest lessons Wilbanks learned was about limits. She started small—delegating errands, setting clear expectations with hired aides, even redefining dynamics with her brother.

It wasn’t about tension or conflict. It was about protecting her energy.

As psychologist Deborah Derrickson Kossmann puts it, “Caregivers need breaks. Recognize your own caregiving limits and be able to negotiate clearly with your support system for the assistance you need to help do the job.”



That means learning to honor your human limits—being open with your family, and giving yourself permission to take a walk, sip a quiet cup of coffee, or simply enjoy five peaceful minutes without interruption. Caregivers carry so much, and like anyone living under constant stress, they need ways to let some of it go.

Finding small way to let go​

For some, that outlet is meditation—a moment to breathe and reset.

For others, it might be something unexpected, like shouting into a pillow—and yes, sometimes even swearing. No shame, just release.

A 2022 study from Ulster University found that swearing, particularly in private, can actually help people regulate overwhelming emotions.

Falcone agrees: “As unconventional as it may seem, yelling the 'F' word into a pillow in private provides a release.”



If swearing isn’t for you, psychologist Martin Seligman offers something gentler: the “three good things” practice. At the end of each day, simply write down three small positives.

It could be a comforting meal. A warm hug. A thoughtful message. You’re not pretending the hard stuff isn’t there—you’re just giving the good moments a chance to shine, too.

The truth is hard to hear, but necessary: caregiving can take a toll on your health. One study found that nearly 18% of spouses caring for someone with Alzheimer’s passed away before their loved one.

Your well-being isn’t a luxury. It’s a lifeline.

Burnout is real. But so is your love. So is your strength. And so is your right to rest.

Read next:

• A caregiving crisis is growing across the US—here’s what families need to know now
• Are these health care providers facing a costly mistake? Here’s what they have to pay back now

What strategies have you found most helpful in managing stress or preventing burnout in your caregiving journey? Share your experience in the comments—your story could inspire others facing similar challenges!