[Sophia M.]

Front Porch Forum: “Is it selfish to donate my handmade quilts to charity instead of passing them down to family?” (09/27/2025)​

Stitched with love—but who gets to hold the legacy? Image source: Unsplash

Pull up a seat, GrayViners. “Legacy on My Terms” has spent a lifetime stitching memories into quilts—and now faces pushback for donating them outside the family. Should a legacy be preserved in closets, or shared in warmth?

Hi TGV,

My sewing room is bursting with decades of work. I’ve stitched through grief and joy, illness and birthdays, making quilts that held my life together when everything else was falling apart. Each one has its own story. The red and white one saw my youngest graduate high school. The blue one kept my husband warm during chemo. The sunflower one? That was just for fun.

Over the years, I’ve offered them to my children. “They’re beautiful,” they’d say, “but we don’t really have space.” So they sat, carefully folded, in cedar chests and linen closets, waiting for someone to want them. And no one really did.

Recently, I began donating them to shelters, to church raffles, to hospice homes. It felt right. Like the stories these quilts carry are finally being shared. But now that my children know, there’s a bit of fuss. “You should’ve asked us first,” they say. “They’re part of the family.” And maybe they are. But if they were, why didn’t anyone ask for them before?

I want my legacy to live on in warmth and use, not in dust and guilt. Is that wrong?

Hands full of memories,
Legacy on My Terms

What’s your take, GrayViners? Have you ever struggled with passing down keepsakes that mattered to you, only to find family uninterested—or suddenly upset? How do you honor your own wishes without feeling guilty? Share your wisdom and stories below. And if you’re holding a dilemma close to your heart, start a conversation here.

 

[angib55]

l wouldn't feel bad because you offered them to the family first and they didn't want them. Now, they are making you the bad person because you did give them away. Offer them one last time and if they still refuse, feel free to give them away. Maybe ask them if there is a special design they like and make one for a present then they can't refuse or say they have no room