[Sophia M.]

Front Porch Forum: “Is it wrong to feel disappointed when my kids made a guest room but rarely ask me to visit?” (09/20/2025)​

They promised me a space, but not a place. Image source: Pexels

Pull up a seat, GrayViners! “Built the Room, Never Invite Me” is carrying the ache of being promised a place in her children’s home, only to feel like the invitation never truly comes. What do you think—how do you handle the hurt when love feels more like a gesture than a welcome?

Hello TGV,

Two years ago, my son and his wife renovated their home and excitedly told me they were creating a guest room just for me. They picked soft linens, painted the walls my favorite shade of blue, and even stocked the closet with a spare robe and slippers. I remember crying when I saw it.

But since then, I’ve only stayed there once. Every time I hint at visiting or offer to come up for a long weekend, they respond with hesitation. “It’s not a good time.” “We’re super busy.” “Maybe next month.”

At first, I told myself I was being too sensitive. They’re young, they’re juggling work, the kids, social lives. But deep down, I wonder if the room was more of a gesture than an actual invitation. They always say it’s mine, but I never feel welcome to use it.

Am I wrong to feel hurt by that? I’d rather sleep on a couch where I’m truly wanted than in a guest room where I feel like a burden.

Wishing I knew where I fit,
Built the Room, Never Invite Me

That’s the story, GrayViners. Have you ever been given something in name but not in spirit—a promise without the follow-through? How did you find your place in it all? Share your thoughts, advice, and stories below. And if you’ve got a family dilemma weighing on you, start a conversation here.

 

[Gayle B.]

They may have had good intentions in the beginning but a busy lifestyle has changed them. Is it within you to strike up a conversation with them? You could express your feelings and thoughts about how you feel and they have changed their minds on your visits. I pray that things work out well for all of you. And you can go forward without any ill will.