Front Porch Forum: “Should I keep speaking my mind at family dinners, or start biting my tongue?” (10/09/2025)
Gather 'round, GrayViners! Today's letter sender is in a bit of a pickle and dealing with a sensitive issue. Read their letter below:
Hey TGV,
I’m not mean-spirited. I’m not trying to be difficult. I’ve just always believed that the truth matters. So when my nephew brags about a job he got through connections, I might ask a follow-up question. When my granddaughter dismisses politics with a wave, I might try to explain why voting still matters. But lately, my honesty feels less like wisdom and more like a landmine.
My daughter says I “suck the air out of the room.” My son tells me I’m “not reading the mood.” Last week, I made a comment about someone’s spending habits, meant as a light joke, and suddenly no one would meet my eyes. I left early and cried the whole drive home.
I never wanted to be that grandparent. The one people avoid. But I also don’t want to sit silently at the table and pretend I don’t have thoughts, experience, and perspective. Isn’t that part of what elders are for? So where’s the line between wisdom and interference? Between honesty and offense?
Still learning how to be heard,
Honest or Too Harsh?
If you were in their shoes, what would YOU do? Let everyone know in the comments! Got something you need advice on? Share your stories here.