[Sophia M.]

Front Porch Forum: “Should I tell my children I’ve started seeing someone, or keep it to myself for now?” (11/11/2025)​

Image source: iStock

Pull up a seat, GrayViners. “The Careful Confession” has spent years learning to live with loss. But after finding comfort again in unexpected company, she’s wondering when—and how—to let her family in on the secret.

Hi GrayVine,

I’ve been widowed for seven years. For a long time, I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. But a few months ago, I met someone special at a volunteer event. He’s kind, patient, and has a quiet way of making me laugh again.

We’ve been seeing each other quietly—coffee on Sundays, long walks, small moments that have brought warmth back into my life. I haven’t told my children yet because I’m afraid of how they’ll react. My daughter tends to be protective, and my son has a way of making me feel guilty without saying much at all. They mean well, but they still see me as fragile, as if moving forward means I’ve stopped loving their father.

Part of me wants to tell them the truth. I don’t want to hide something that’s making me happy. But another part of me wants to keep this little joy private just a bit longer, until I’m sure where it’s heading. It’s been so long since I’ve felt this kind of peace, and I’m scared that sharing it too soon might break it.

Would keeping this to myself be dishonest? Or is it alright to hold something for your own heart after a lifetime of putting everyone else first?

Warm regards,
The Careful Confession

What do you think, GrayViners? Have you ever struggled to share new happiness with family who might not understand—or held something private to protect your peace? Share your stories and gentle advice below. And if you’ve got a family dilemma of your own, start a conversation here.

 

[Whisper]

Your happiness is more important than their insecurities. I would wait to see how this situation plays out—no need for drama at this point.

 

[Arkie]

Wait a bit before telling them. A widow for 7 years, you should be able to have another in your life if just for companionship. Should have to sneak around. I was divorced many years, started dating and kids got upset. Too make them happy i gave it up. Was seeing a very nice fella so here i am alone, kids with their own lives, and very lonesome and no fun to do things alone. Let it see how it goes and if a given, tell them and explain to them you don't want to be alone and have a very nice guy friend.

 

[Treetops]

I may have more questions than answers.... I don`t know how long, or new the relationship is? Do your children, live near, or include you, or visit, or call, often? I`m, just asking, because, if your often left alone, then you have every right to fill that emptiness, with how ever you choose. Would they, before making a life choice, think of how you would be effected? Your an adult, and have done your motherly duties. You have a right to put yourself first now. Enjoy! Tell them when you feel it`s right.