Dear TGV,
This isn’t easy to write. Most of my life, I’ve been the one people come to when they need a little help—a meal, a ride, even a loan here or there for a neighbor short on groceries. I’ve never expected much back, and I always felt good knowing I could lend a hand.
But lately, my own finances have gotten tighter than I’d like to admit. My small pension and Social Security don’t seem to stretch as far as they used to. Bills keep coming, prices go up, and more than once now, I’ve had to put essentials on my credit card—groceries, prescriptions, even a new pair of reading glasses last month. The balance just keeps creeping up, and the shame of it makes me keep my troubles to myself.
What makes it even harder is knowing that, over the years, there are a few small debts still owed to me, little things I lent here and there to family and friends, always with trust and without keeping score. Now, when the budget’s this tight, I sometimes think about asking to be repaid. But I just can’t bring myself to do it. I worry it will seem petty, or that it might embarrass someone who’s also struggling. The thought of asking makes me feel small.
At night, I lie awake sorting through what can wait and what must be paid. The hardest part is feeling alone with it all. My children are busy, and I don’t want to add to their burdens. I just wish I knew where to start or what to let go of. Is there anyone who’s been here, quietly carrying worries, unsure how to speak up, even when you could use a little help yourself? How do you decide what comes first? And is there a gentle way to ask for what’s owed, when you’re usually the one giving?
Thank you for reading,
Stretched Thin
