Is your need for control withholding your progress?
- Replies 0
As we navigate life, the desire for control can feel like our lifeline. But what if that same need is actually holding us back?
Join us as we dive into this surprising paradox and discover how it might be stifling your progress!
The desire for control is deeply rooted in our psyche. It's a survival mechanism that kicks in from the moment we're born, as we navigate a world that seems to happen to us rather than with us.
As we grow older, this need for control can manifest in various ways: meticulously planning every aspect of our day, refusing to delegate tasks, or even avoiding new experiences that might disrupt our carefully constructed routines.
However, the grip of control can tighten around us, often without our notice. It can lead to a rigid life, devoid of spontaneity and resilience.
When we insist on controlling everything, we close ourselves off to the unpredictable joys and opportunities that life presents.
We may also inadvertently push away those who wish to share our journey, creating a lonely empire where we reign supreme but at the cost of meaningful connections.
Consider the story of a family struck by a stomach bug, as shared by NHS psychotherapist Moya Sarner.
The experience left Sarner contemplating the vulnerability and helplessness that come with being out of control.
This realization can be both unsettling and liberating, as it challenges the illusion that we are the masters of our fate.
The need for control doesn't just affect us individually; it spills over into our relationships with others.
When we strive to dominate every aspect of our interactions, we can become controlling partners, colleagues, or parents.
his relentless quest for control can trap those around us in a cycle of compliance and resentment, stifling their growth as well as our own.
So, what's the alternative to this all-consuming need for control?
It lies in the concept of “containment”, as described by psychoanalyst Wilfred Bion.
Containment doesn't mean suppressing or controlling our emotions but rather understanding and giving them space to exist.
It's about creating an environment where feelings are not threats to be managed but signals to be interpreted.
For seniors, this concept is particularly poignant. After decades of building lives, careers, and families, the idea of loosening the reins can be daunting.
Yet, it's in this act of release that we can find a new type of freedom—one that allows us to experience life more fully and to engage with the world in a more meaningful way.
Practicing containment involves a few key steps:
1. Acknowledge that control is often an illusion. Recognize that many aspects of life are beyond your direct influence.
2. Cultivate mindfulness. Be present with your emotions and experiences without immediately trying to change or control them.
3. Foster open communication. Share your thoughts and feelings with others, and be receptive to theirs without judgment or an immediate need to fix things.
4. Embrace flexibility. Allow for spontaneity and be willing to adapt to new situations.
5. Seek support. Whether it's from a therapist, a support group, or loved ones, having a safe space to express yourself can help you navigate the complexities of life with more ease.
As we continue to navigate the later chapters of our lives, it's important to reflect on our relationship with control. Are we holding on too tightly to the reins? Are we missing out on the richness of life because we're too focused on steering the course?
Let's challenge ourselves to embrace the concept of containment, to find balance between control and freedom.
By doing so, we can unlock new dimensions of our lives, filled with creativity, passion, and connection.
Have you experienced the downsides of excessive control? How have you learned to let go and embrace the flow of life? Share your stories and insights in the comments below. Together, we can learn to navigate this delicate balance and enrich our golden years with wisdom and grace.
Join us as we dive into this surprising paradox and discover how it might be stifling your progress!
The desire for control is deeply rooted in our psyche. It's a survival mechanism that kicks in from the moment we're born, as we navigate a world that seems to happen to us rather than with us.
As we grow older, this need for control can manifest in various ways: meticulously planning every aspect of our day, refusing to delegate tasks, or even avoiding new experiences that might disrupt our carefully constructed routines.
The desire to be in control is a common issue addressed in therapy, and the need for control can be damaging to one's life and relationships. Image source: Pexels.
However, the grip of control can tighten around us, often without our notice. It can lead to a rigid life, devoid of spontaneity and resilience.
When we insist on controlling everything, we close ourselves off to the unpredictable joys and opportunities that life presents.
We may also inadvertently push away those who wish to share our journey, creating a lonely empire where we reign supreme but at the cost of meaningful connections.
Consider the story of a family struck by a stomach bug, as shared by NHS psychotherapist Moya Sarner.
The experience left Sarner contemplating the vulnerability and helplessness that come with being out of control.
This realization can be both unsettling and liberating, as it challenges the illusion that we are the masters of our fate.
The need for control doesn't just affect us individually; it spills over into our relationships with others.
When we strive to dominate every aspect of our interactions, we can become controlling partners, colleagues, or parents.
his relentless quest for control can trap those around us in a cycle of compliance and resentment, stifling their growth as well as our own.
So, what's the alternative to this all-consuming need for control?
It lies in the concept of “containment”, as described by psychoanalyst Wilfred Bion.
Containment doesn't mean suppressing or controlling our emotions but rather understanding and giving them space to exist.
It's about creating an environment where feelings are not threats to be managed but signals to be interpreted.
For seniors, this concept is particularly poignant. After decades of building lives, careers, and families, the idea of loosening the reins can be daunting.
Yet, it's in this act of release that we can find a new type of freedom—one that allows us to experience life more fully and to engage with the world in a more meaningful way.
Practicing containment involves a few key steps:
1. Acknowledge that control is often an illusion. Recognize that many aspects of life are beyond your direct influence.
2. Cultivate mindfulness. Be present with your emotions and experiences without immediately trying to change or control them.
3. Foster open communication. Share your thoughts and feelings with others, and be receptive to theirs without judgment or an immediate need to fix things.
4. Embrace flexibility. Allow for spontaneity and be willing to adapt to new situations.
5. Seek support. Whether it's from a therapist, a support group, or loved ones, having a safe space to express yourself can help you navigate the complexities of life with more ease.
As we continue to navigate the later chapters of our lives, it's important to reflect on our relationship with control. Are we holding on too tightly to the reins? Are we missing out on the richness of life because we're too focused on steering the course?
Let's challenge ourselves to embrace the concept of containment, to find balance between control and freedom.
By doing so, we can unlock new dimensions of our lives, filled with creativity, passion, and connection.
