Mixed reactions: Grandparents share honest opinions on caring for their grandchildren
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Some say it’s the best chapter of life, others say it’s the most exhausting. For many grandparents, spending time with their grandchildren can be both deeply rewarding and quietly overwhelming.
The expectations around how much help they should provide—and how often—are not always easy to navigate.
And when asked to step in regularly, feelings tend to surface that aren’t always talked about out loud.
One grandparent reflected on the emotional weight of being present: “I want to be in their lives, and I think if you want quality, quantity is the easiest way there—especially when you are as broken as I am.”
They described years of steady support despite personal hardship, prioritizing connection over their own downtime. “It’s not like I do much with that freedom anyway,” they said. “Why not help out? And actually know my grandchildren.”
Another put it bluntly: “It’s wonderful when they come. It’s wonderful when they leave.” That contrast was echoed in several stories.
Grandparents love their time with grandkids, but many draw clear lines about their own needs. One person even wrote, “Kids are exhausting, but I think what we lack in energy, we make up for in patience, humor, and being able to put things in context..”
Some shared moments of joy that reminded them why they choose to help. One recalled a touching bedtime moment: “She held my hand and said, ‘Nei Nei, you make me happy,’ and my heart just exploded.”
Others spoke about the long view—setting aside college funds or planning for their grandkids’ futures as their way of staying involved. “Watching our granddaughter is a gift to my daughter,” one said. “I’m so happy to do it.”
But not all stories were so lighthearted. One grandparent took custody of two grandchildren after the death of their daughter, saying, “We were ready to retire and live the retirement life. We will never see that life.”
Others said long-term caregiving past 60 is “a killer in all regards”—physically, emotionally, and financially. Still, many emphasized they do it because they must, not because they were ever asked.
Others said the role fits them perfectly. “They are never a burden. They are amazing,” one said about their five grandkids.
Some described their homes as always being open to the chaos—full of toys, snacks, and sippy cups. “They are the reason I get out of bed,” one added, noting how deeply the bond shapes their daily lives.
At the same time, a number of grandparents were clear about limits. “I don’t want to keep my grandchildren,” one wrote.
“I do love them… I’m just at a point in my life where I want to do other things.” Another said, “I love babysitting on the weekends so my kids can go out on a ‘date.’ The occasional help is fine… but I don’t want to be tied down.”
Some are deeply involved despite distance, helping financially or driving long hours for visits. “We have very full lives outside of our adult children and grandchildren, and yet will do anything to be involved at the drop of a hat,” one shared.
Others noted that time with grandkids doesn’t always come in the form of babysitting—it can be poker nights, pickleball, or classic storytime. “We cook together, play crafts, and I read to them at night after bath time.”
Several comments called out assumptions from adult children that being retired equals being available. “Don’t get mad at me when you call for help at the last minute and I’m two states away,” one wrote.
Many made it clear: they’re happy to help—but not at the expense of their autonomy. “I’ve got my own life,” said one grandparent. “Help your children and enjoy the grandchildren”
Read next:
What’s your take on the shifting role of grandparents today? Are you being asked to help more than you expected, or finding joy in every visit? How does your family navigate these boundaries? Let us know in the comments below—we want to hear your side of it.
The expectations around how much help they should provide—and how often—are not always easy to navigate.
And when asked to step in regularly, feelings tend to surface that aren’t always talked about out loud.
One grandparent reflected on the emotional weight of being present: “I want to be in their lives, and I think if you want quality, quantity is the easiest way there—especially when you are as broken as I am.”
They described years of steady support despite personal hardship, prioritizing connection over their own downtime. “It’s not like I do much with that freedom anyway,” they said. “Why not help out? And actually know my grandchildren.”
Another put it bluntly: “It’s wonderful when they come. It’s wonderful when they leave.” That contrast was echoed in several stories.
Grandparents love their time with grandkids, but many draw clear lines about their own needs. One person even wrote, “Kids are exhausting, but I think what we lack in energy, we make up for in patience, humor, and being able to put things in context..”
Grandparents share honest opinions on caring for their grandchildren. Image source: Holly Landkammer / Unsplash
Some shared moments of joy that reminded them why they choose to help. One recalled a touching bedtime moment: “She held my hand and said, ‘Nei Nei, you make me happy,’ and my heart just exploded.”
Others spoke about the long view—setting aside college funds or planning for their grandkids’ futures as their way of staying involved. “Watching our granddaughter is a gift to my daughter,” one said. “I’m so happy to do it.”
But not all stories were so lighthearted. One grandparent took custody of two grandchildren after the death of their daughter, saying, “We were ready to retire and live the retirement life. We will never see that life.”
Others said long-term caregiving past 60 is “a killer in all regards”—physically, emotionally, and financially. Still, many emphasized they do it because they must, not because they were ever asked.
Others said the role fits them perfectly. “They are never a burden. They are amazing,” one said about their five grandkids.
Some described their homes as always being open to the chaos—full of toys, snacks, and sippy cups. “They are the reason I get out of bed,” one added, noting how deeply the bond shapes their daily lives.
At the same time, a number of grandparents were clear about limits. “I don’t want to keep my grandchildren,” one wrote.
“I do love them… I’m just at a point in my life where I want to do other things.” Another said, “I love babysitting on the weekends so my kids can go out on a ‘date.’ The occasional help is fine… but I don’t want to be tied down.”
Some are deeply involved despite distance, helping financially or driving long hours for visits. “We have very full lives outside of our adult children and grandchildren, and yet will do anything to be involved at the drop of a hat,” one shared.
Others noted that time with grandkids doesn’t always come in the form of babysitting—it can be poker nights, pickleball, or classic storytime. “We cook together, play crafts, and I read to them at night after bath time.”
Several comments called out assumptions from adult children that being retired equals being available. “Don’t get mad at me when you call for help at the last minute and I’m two states away,” one wrote.
Many made it clear: they’re happy to help—but not at the expense of their autonomy. “I’ve got my own life,” said one grandparent. “Help your children and enjoy the grandchildren”
Read next:
- Experts reveal: The critical mistakes grandparents make without even knowing
- Transform your grandchildren's lives instantly: 6 must-use phrases recommended by a child psychologist
