Stop overplanning! Discover the real secret to enjoying the holidays
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The holiday season is upon us, and with it comes the twinkling lights, the festive music, and the undeniable pressure to make every moment magical.
But what if the secret to truly enjoying this special time of year is actually to do less, not more?
Here at The GrayVine, we believe that the best holiday experiences come from savoring the simple joys, not from meticulously orchestrating every detail.
It's easy to fall into the trap of overplanning during the holidays.
You might feel the need to find the perfect gifts, decorate like a professional, and host events that would make Martha Stewart proud. But this pursuit of holiday perfection can lead to stress that overshadows the joy these activities are meant to bring.
Dr. Suzanne Degges-White, a licensed counselor, warns that the expectations attached to the holidays can be overwhelming. “We can get sucked into doing too much, overcommitting, overspending, and we really begin to resent every day from November 15 until January 5,” she says.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Firestone points out that the drive for a picture-perfect holiday often stems from a place of self-criticism. “The reality is that you can have a lot more enjoyment in life if you can take some of that pressure off and not be so focused on things having to be picture-perfect,” she advises.
So, how can you break free from the cycle of overplanning and stress? Here are some strategies to help you rediscover the heart of the holiday season:
1. Cherish Select Traditions
Traditions are the threads that weave the tapestry of our holiday experiences. However, not all traditions are worth the stress they may cause.
Reflect on which customs truly resonate with you and your loved ones, and consider letting go of those that no longer serve you. This selective approach can free up time and energy for the activities that genuinely matter.
“Sometimes we have to make really tough decisions due to the limited supply of time, energy (and) money that we might have available,” Degges-White said.
2. Embrace Imperfection
Let go of the need for everything to be flawless. Instead, focus on what the holidays mean to you—be it connecting with family, enjoying some quiet time, or simply indulging in your favorite seasonal treats. Remember, the most cherished memories often come from unplanned moments.
“The reality is that you can have a lot more enjoyment in life if you can take some of that pressure off and not be so focused on things having to be picture-perfect.” quipped Firestone.
3. Involve Your Circle
Ask family members what they value most about the holiday season. You might be surprised to find that it's not the elaborate meals or decorations, but the time spent together. Encourage everyone to contribute, which not only lightens your load but also fosters a sense of inclusion and teamwork.
4. Schedule Downtime
Resist the urge to fill every moment with activities. Dr. Emiliana Simon-Thomas of the Greater Good Science Center recommends embracing the “'joy of missing out” and appreciating discretionary time. Use this time to relax, reflect, and recharge.
5. Cultivate Gratitude
Replace self-criticism with gratitude. Take time to reflect on what you're thankful for, whether it's the people around you, your health, or the simple pleasures of the season. Practicing gratitude can shift your focus from what's lacking to the abundance that already exists in your life.
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by holiday planning? What are some ways you've found to simplify and enjoy the season more? Share your stories and tips in the comments below!
But what if the secret to truly enjoying this special time of year is actually to do less, not more?
Here at The GrayVine, we believe that the best holiday experiences come from savoring the simple joys, not from meticulously orchestrating every detail.
It's easy to fall into the trap of overplanning during the holidays.
You might feel the need to find the perfect gifts, decorate like a professional, and host events that would make Martha Stewart proud. But this pursuit of holiday perfection can lead to stress that overshadows the joy these activities are meant to bring.
Dr. Suzanne Degges-White, a licensed counselor, warns that the expectations attached to the holidays can be overwhelming. “We can get sucked into doing too much, overcommitting, overspending, and we really begin to resent every day from November 15 until January 5,” she says.

Overplanning the holidays can create more stress than the joy they're intended to bring. Image source: Pexels / George Dolgikh.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Firestone points out that the drive for a picture-perfect holiday often stems from a place of self-criticism. “The reality is that you can have a lot more enjoyment in life if you can take some of that pressure off and not be so focused on things having to be picture-perfect,” she advises.
So, how can you break free from the cycle of overplanning and stress? Here are some strategies to help you rediscover the heart of the holiday season:
1. Cherish Select Traditions
Traditions are the threads that weave the tapestry of our holiday experiences. However, not all traditions are worth the stress they may cause.
Reflect on which customs truly resonate with you and your loved ones, and consider letting go of those that no longer serve you. This selective approach can free up time and energy for the activities that genuinely matter.
“Sometimes we have to make really tough decisions due to the limited supply of time, energy (and) money that we might have available,” Degges-White said.
2. Embrace Imperfection
Let go of the need for everything to be flawless. Instead, focus on what the holidays mean to you—be it connecting with family, enjoying some quiet time, or simply indulging in your favorite seasonal treats. Remember, the most cherished memories often come from unplanned moments.
“The reality is that you can have a lot more enjoyment in life if you can take some of that pressure off and not be so focused on things having to be picture-perfect.” quipped Firestone.
3. Involve Your Circle
Ask family members what they value most about the holiday season. You might be surprised to find that it's not the elaborate meals or decorations, but the time spent together. Encourage everyone to contribute, which not only lightens your load but also fosters a sense of inclusion and teamwork.
4. Schedule Downtime
Resist the urge to fill every moment with activities. Dr. Emiliana Simon-Thomas of the Greater Good Science Center recommends embracing the “'joy of missing out” and appreciating discretionary time. Use this time to relax, reflect, and recharge.
5. Cultivate Gratitude
Replace self-criticism with gratitude. Take time to reflect on what you're thankful for, whether it's the people around you, your health, or the simple pleasures of the season. Practicing gratitude can shift your focus from what's lacking to the abundance that already exists in your life.
Key Takeaways
- Overplanning the holidays can create more stress than the joy they're intended to bring.
- It's important to choose which traditions to keep and which to let go, and not to succumb to the pressure of perfection.
- Including family members in holiday preparations can reduce stress and make the holidays more inclusive and enjoyable.
- Practicing gratitude and scheduling discretionary time can help shift focus to positivity and contentment during the holiday season.
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by holiday planning? What are some ways you've found to simplify and enjoy the season more? Share your stories and tips in the comments below!