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Whether you're muttering during a tricky crossword or giving yourself a quiet pep talk before a big day, talking to yourself is more common than you might think.

For many of us, it happens naturally—while making coffee, gardening, or walking the dog.

And here’s the good news: it's not just harmless—it can actually be helpful.

More and more research is showing that this everyday habit supports mental health, clarity, and self-understanding, especially as we age.


At The GrayVine, we love celebrating the little things that help us stay grounded and connected.

Self-talk might feel silly at first, but it’s a tool worth embracing.

Here’s why talking to yourself could be one of the most powerful habits you build.


Where does self-talk come from?

As children, we’re surrounded by voices guiding and encouraging us—parents, teachers, friends.

Over time, those voices become internalized.

They shape the way we think about ourselves and the world.

But when we bring those thoughts out into the open and speak them aloud, it can change the way we relate to ourselves—helping us feel more grounded, calm, and confident.


Five benefits of talking to yourself out loud

1. It boosts your confidence and self-worth

We often treat ourselves more harshly than we would a friend.

Out-loud self-talk gives you the chance to be more encouraging, reminding yourself that you’re capable, resilient, and deserving of compassion.

It’s a way of re-parenting that inner voice—offering it kindness instead of criticism.

2. It helps regulate emotions

When you're feeling anxious, angry, or overwhelmed, speaking gently to yourself can calm your nervous system.

Simple phrases like, “This is tough, but I’ll get through it,” can help you feel more in control.

It also helps you pause and process emotions before they spiral.


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3. It improves how you relate to others

When you understand your own emotions better, you’re more likely to respond to others with patience and empathy.

Practicing self-talk can make interactions smoother—especially in stressful moments when you might otherwise react out of frustration.

4. It invites humor and lightness

If you've ever laughed at yourself for losing your glasses (only to find them on your head), you’re not alone.

Self-talk can help you let go of small frustrations and enjoy the lighter side of life.

A little laughter, especially at our own expense, goes a long way.

5. It keeps curiosity alive

Asking yourself questions like, “Why did that bother me?” or “What do I really want from today?” can spark reflection and self-awareness.

Even casual conversations with yourself can lead to unexpected insights or moments of clarity.


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Tips to build a healthy self-talk habit

Not sure where to start? Try these gentle ways to ease into the practice:

• Start small: Narrate a simple task like making breakfast, or say how you feel: “I’m feeling a little off today, and that’s okay.”
• Be kind and honest: You don’t have to be overly positive—just speak to yourself with the same care you’d give a friend.
• Use calming phrases: Try mantras like, “This feeling will pass,” or “I’ve done hard things before.”
• Pretend you’re giving advice to a friend: What would you say to someone else in your shoes? Say that to yourself.
• Write it down: If talking aloud feels strange at first, write your thoughts in a journal and read them back to yourself.

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What the science says

Psychologists and researchers have found that self-talk helps with focus, stress management, and emotional resilience.

Athletes use it before big games. Students use it to stay calm before tests.

Therapists even recommend it for navigating anxiety and depression.

And here’s something fun: speaking to yourself in the third person (“You’ve got this, Mary!”) can actually help you step back and see the situation more clearly.

It creates just enough distance to help you make better choices.

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Real-world examples of self-talk in action

• Before an appointment: “I’ve written down my questions. I’m ready to speak up for myself.”
• When you’re nervous: “This feels tough, but I’ve been through harder. I can handle it.”
• After a mistake: “Everyone makes mistakes. What matters is what I learn from it.”
• When something goes well: “I did it—and I’m proud of myself.”

What if your inner voice is harsh?

Sometimes our self-talk becomes overly negative without us noticing.

If you catch yourself being critical, try to pause and reframe the thought.

Kindness takes practice. And if you’re dealing with persistent negative thinking, it’s okay to seek support from a mental health professional.

Read next: Can a quick hand movement reveal a hidden health issue? Here’s what to know about this simple brain check



Do you talk to yourself? Has it helped you calm down, feel stronger, or even laugh? Maybe you’ve found a favorite phrase or mantra that brings you peace. We’d love to hear your story—share your thoughts in the comments below.

Because in the end, the most important relationship you have is the one you have with yourself. So go ahead—talk to yourself. You might be surprised by what you learn!