The #1 Thanksgiving table faux pas according to etiquette experts—Are you guilty of this?
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As the leaves turn golden and the air carries the crisp promise of fall, our thoughts inevitably turn to the warmth of Thanksgiving. This wonderful season of spending moments with loved ones, eating good food, and being grateful for your blessings continues to be one of the best moments in our lives.
However, alongside the turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin pie, there's an element just as crucial as the secret ingredient in grandma's famous casserole: etiquette.
Are you doing all the right things related to proper etiquette or are you causing stress to your kind hosts? Good manners and etiquette remain valuable regardless if you’re at home or at someone else’s house as a guest.
More than knowing what utensils to use, “Etiquette goes beyond knowing which fork to use. It’s about showing respect and understanding the social norms that keep us connected,” remarks Lisa Mirza Grotts, known as the “Golden Rules Gal” in the world of etiquette professionals.
The Unwelcome Guest: Your Cellphone
Yes, the device that keeps you connected to the world can also be the most unwelcome guest at your Thanksgiving table.
In a world where digital distractions are just a tap away, it's easy to forget the real reason we gather around the table—to connect with those we care about.
“Cellphones should be out of sight and out of sound at the Thanksgiving table,” quips Jo Hayes, etiquette expert and consultant. Spending time on your phone shows that you’re not interested in being present at the moment.
The experts agree: the cellphone is the modern-day equivalent of arriving with muddy boots and tracking dirt all over a freshly cleaned floor. It's a faux pas that soils the very essence of the holiday—presence.
Other Thanksgiving Table Misdemeanors
While the cellphone reigns supreme as the top offender, our experts highlighted other behaviors that can sour the sweetest of pumpkin pies:
1. Uninvited Plus-Ones
Always confirm with your host before bringing additional guests. Surprises are for birthdays, not for Thanksgiving, where every seat and serving is planned with care. Bringing along an uninvited plus one might cause the host’s plans to get thrown off.
2. Food Critics
The Thanksgiving table is not the place for your Gordon Ramsay impression. Even if the stuffing isn't quite like mom's, remember that gratitude is the main course.
Jamila Musayeva, etiquette coach adds, “Even if the dish isn’t to one’s taste, it’s essential to remember that the host has invested time, effort and care into preparing the meal.”
3. Premature Seasoning
Reach for the salt shaker before tasting the dish, and you might as well sprinkle a dash of insult onto the chef's pride.
Pause and try your food first because premature seasoning “...signals to your host that you assume they don’t know how to season food properly,” warns Nick Leighton, etiquette expert and podcast host of Were you raised by wolves?
4. Fashionably Late? Think Again
Arriving late disrupts the flow of the feast and can leave a cold shoulder where there should be warm turkey, especially when you don’t advise the host.
By arriving late, you affect the host’s plans and might cause delays to the meal.
How to Be the Guest Everyone Is Thankful For
Now that we've covered what not to do, let's talk about how to be the guest that gets invited back year after year.
- Bring a Thoughtful Gift: A small token of appreciation goes a long way. Whether it's a bottle of wine, a bouquet, or a homemade treat, it's the thought that counts. It shows th host that you’re grateful for the invitation, as per etiquette experts.
- Engage in Inclusive Conversation: Keep the chat light and enjoyable for all. “Avoid controversial topics that could stir emotions or conflict,” says Musayeva. Stay on the path of neutral conversations and try to “listen more than you speak,” advises Leighton.
- Let the Host Take the Lead: Whether it's setting the table or doing the dishes, a helping hand is always in season–but make sure that you ask the host first before assuming anything. If you’re not sure what to do, the rule of thumb is to “observe the behavior of the host or those around you,” advises Musayeva.
Thinking of possible gifts to give to your hosts? You might want to check out these Thanksgiving must-haves from Trader Joe's in this story we covered earlier.
Have you witnessed or perhaps even committed a Thanksgiving etiquette faux pas? How do you ensure that you're a gracious guest or host during the holidays? Share your stories and tips in the comments below!
However, alongside the turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin pie, there's an element just as crucial as the secret ingredient in grandma's famous casserole: etiquette.
Are you doing all the right things related to proper etiquette or are you causing stress to your kind hosts? Good manners and etiquette remain valuable regardless if you’re at home or at someone else’s house as a guest.
More than knowing what utensils to use, “Etiquette goes beyond knowing which fork to use. It’s about showing respect and understanding the social norms that keep us connected,” remarks Lisa Mirza Grotts, known as the “Golden Rules Gal” in the world of etiquette professionals.
The Unwelcome Guest: Your Cellphone
Yes, the device that keeps you connected to the world can also be the most unwelcome guest at your Thanksgiving table.
In a world where digital distractions are just a tap away, it's easy to forget the real reason we gather around the table—to connect with those we care about.
“Cellphones should be out of sight and out of sound at the Thanksgiving table,” quips Jo Hayes, etiquette expert and consultant. Spending time on your phone shows that you’re not interested in being present at the moment.
The experts agree: the cellphone is the modern-day equivalent of arriving with muddy boots and tracking dirt all over a freshly cleaned floor. It's a faux pas that soils the very essence of the holiday—presence.
Using a mobile phone at the Thanksgiving table is considered one of the rudest behaviors, as it distracts from togetherness and shared experience. Image source: Pexels.
Other Thanksgiving Table Misdemeanors
While the cellphone reigns supreme as the top offender, our experts highlighted other behaviors that can sour the sweetest of pumpkin pies:
1. Uninvited Plus-Ones
Always confirm with your host before bringing additional guests. Surprises are for birthdays, not for Thanksgiving, where every seat and serving is planned with care. Bringing along an uninvited plus one might cause the host’s plans to get thrown off.
2. Food Critics
The Thanksgiving table is not the place for your Gordon Ramsay impression. Even if the stuffing isn't quite like mom's, remember that gratitude is the main course.
Jamila Musayeva, etiquette coach adds, “Even if the dish isn’t to one’s taste, it’s essential to remember that the host has invested time, effort and care into preparing the meal.”
3. Premature Seasoning
Reach for the salt shaker before tasting the dish, and you might as well sprinkle a dash of insult onto the chef's pride.
Pause and try your food first because premature seasoning “...signals to your host that you assume they don’t know how to season food properly,” warns Nick Leighton, etiquette expert and podcast host of Were you raised by wolves?
4. Fashionably Late? Think Again
Arriving late disrupts the flow of the feast and can leave a cold shoulder where there should be warm turkey, especially when you don’t advise the host.
By arriving late, you affect the host’s plans and might cause delays to the meal.
How to Be the Guest Everyone Is Thankful For
Now that we've covered what not to do, let's talk about how to be the guest that gets invited back year after year.
- Bring a Thoughtful Gift: A small token of appreciation goes a long way. Whether it's a bottle of wine, a bouquet, or a homemade treat, it's the thought that counts. It shows th host that you’re grateful for the invitation, as per etiquette experts.
- Engage in Inclusive Conversation: Keep the chat light and enjoyable for all. “Avoid controversial topics that could stir emotions or conflict,” says Musayeva. Stay on the path of neutral conversations and try to “listen more than you speak,” advises Leighton.
- Let the Host Take the Lead: Whether it's setting the table or doing the dishes, a helping hand is always in season–but make sure that you ask the host first before assuming anything. If you’re not sure what to do, the rule of thumb is to “observe the behavior of the host or those around you,” advises Musayeva.
Thinking of possible gifts to give to your hosts? You might want to check out these Thanksgiving must-haves from Trader Joe's in this story we covered earlier.
Have you witnessed or perhaps even committed a Thanksgiving etiquette faux pas? How do you ensure that you're a gracious guest or host during the holidays? Share your stories and tips in the comments below!
