Content Warning: This article discusses mental health topics, including experiences with trauma and stress, which may be sensitive or triggering for some readers. Please proceed with caution.

In our golden years, life can feel like a balancing act of grandparenting, hobbies, and daily tasks. But what if, despite all this activity, you feel like you're stuck in place?

Could it be that you're experiencing something deeper than just burnout?


At The GrayVine, we understand that life doesn't slow down after 60.

That's why we're diving deep into the concept of a functional freeze, with insights from seasoned psychotherapist Janet Bayramyan, LCSW.

We'll explore the signs of this stress response and offer strategies to thaw out and reclaim your zest for life.


Janet Bayramyan, LCSW, brings a wealth of experience as a trauma therapist, with over eight years of helping individuals navigate the complexities of trauma, addiction, relationship challenges, and significant life transitions.

Licensed across multiple states, Bayramyan's approach is rooted in support and strength, always considering one's cultural background and identity.

A functional freeze is akin to your car's engine running while it's parked.

You're going through the motions, but you're not really getting anywhere.

Bayramyan explains, “[t]his state is a form of dissociation, often triggered by trauma or chronic stress. It's a survival mechanism that kicks in when fight or flight responses seem out of reach or unsafe.”


Why does it happen?

Our brains, sophisticated as they are, can sometimes misinterpret overwhelming situations as inescapable threats.

When our nervous system is overloaded, it may default to freeze mode, especially when other coping strategies seem ineffective.

Recognizing the signs of a functional freeze​

1. Emotional disconnection​

You might feel as if you're watching your life from the sidelines, detached from your emotions and those around you. This dream-like state is a form of dissociation, where reality feels oddly unreal.

2. Unexplained fatigue​

Despite getting enough rest, you're tired and unmotivated. This isn't just physical exhaustion; it's an emotional response to being in a functional freeze.

3. Feeling trapped​

You perceive your circumstances as unchangeable, with little hope for improvement. This sense of entrapment can be paralyzing.

4. Procrastination and avoidance​

You delay or dodge tasks and situations that require effort, even when they're important. Avoidance is a coping strategy for survival.


If you recognize these signs in yourself, it's time to gently confront the freeze.

Bayramyan suggests first determining whether the threat causing your freeze is real or perceived.

This may require the help of a licensed therapist to discern whether you're in danger or if your life is more peaceful than you realize.

When the coast is clear, consider these strategies:

1. Reconnect with your body​

Simple grounding techniques like deep breathing, stretching, or walking can signal safety to your nervous system.

2. Break tasks into tiny steps​

Overwhelm can be mitigated by setting small, manageable goals. Focus on one small area or task at a time.

3. Seek emotional support​

A conversation with a friend, therapist, or support group can help process feelings and reduce isolation.

4. Reassess your environment​

Identify stressors and brainstorm ways to create a sense of choice or control. Delegate tasks or set boundaries to manage overwhelming situations.

5. Practice self-compassion​

Understand that the freeze response is not a failure but a survival mechanism. Replace self-criticism with affirming statements like, “I'm doing the best I can right now.”

For those of us over 60, acknowledging a functional freeze is not about admitting defeat; it's about embracing the opportunity to live fully.

We've weathered life's storms and deserve to enjoy our days with vitality and purpose.

Remember, recognizing a functional freeze is the first step to melting it away. Let's warm up to a life of engagement and joy, free from the invisible restraints of overwhelming stress.
Have you ever felt stuck in a functional freeze? What strategies have helped you move forward? Your experiences could be a beacon of hope for someone in a similar situation. Share your stories and tips with us in the comments below.