[Sophia M.]

Front Porch Forum: “Am I imagining things, or is my neighbor’s husband getting too friendly?” (10/16/2025)​

Image source: Pexels/Sara Santos

Pull up a seat, GrayViners! “The Neighbor’s Husband” just wrote in with a sensitive dilemma that might sound familiar to anyone who’s ever second-guessed their gut. When does friendly turn into too friendly? And how do you set boundaries without making things awkward next door?

Hello, TGV,

I’m seventy-one and live alone since my husband passed. My neighbors next door are a friendly couple in their fifties. The husband, Mark, has always been polite, mowing my front strip when he does his own and helping with heavy trash bins. I appreciated it.

Lately, though, something feels different. He’s been stopping by more often when his wife isn’t home. Last week, he brought over a plate of cookies “just because.” Then he asked if I ever get lonely and told me I “still have beautiful eyes.” I laughed it off, but my stomach twisted.

I don’t know if I’m reading too much into it or if he’s crossing a line. He’s kind, but I can’t shake the discomfort. His wife is lovely and always so warm toward me. I would be mortified if she ever thought anything improper was happening.

Should I speak up, avoid him, or pretend I don’t notice? I feel trapped between politeness and unease.

Respectfully,
The Neighbor’s Husband

That’s the situation, GrayViners. Have you ever found yourself unsure whether someone’s friendliness had crossed a line? What would you do if a neighbor’s kindness started to make you uneasy? Share your advice and stories below—and if you’ve got a tricky situation of your own, don’t hesitate to start a new conversation right here on the Porch.

 

[Treetops]

I had this happen, but I was in my twenties. I shared my discomfort with my then husband, and he addressed it with his buddy, and his wife, who was also my friend. It all blew back on me. I lost my friend because, she stood by her man. First off, very flattering at 70. Second, his wife, will stand by her man as well. I think, make sure you set clear boundaries with him. Don`t involve her. Refuse the cookies, nicely. Hire a kid to mow. He probably is crossing the line, if your gut is warning you, listen to that. Widows are often seen as lonely and desperate, so an easy target. Stay safe out there.

 

[tennis]

I would say, back off, with the husband helping so much, "Thanks I can manage this" " Wheres your wife is she coming over also>" Men always seem to be looking.