[Emerald U.]

Front Porch Forum: "Am I being petty for feeling upset that my name was left off a family group chat?" (08/07/2025)​

Image source: Tim Samuel/Pexels

Pull up a seat, GrayViners! Today’s letter comes from someone facing a tricky situation. Take a look below:

Dear TGV,

I'm a bit embarrassed to admit this, but a situation in my family has left me feeling quite hurt, and I'm not sure if I'm overreacting.

My niece recently started a group chat on WhatsApp for our extended family (siblings, cousins, their partners, and so on). It seems everyone has been included except for me. I only found out because my sister accidentally mentioned something that had been discussed there, and when I looked puzzled, she awkwardly changed the subject. Later my daughter confirmed that the group chat exists and that most of the family are on it. What's more, the reason why my niece opted to leave me out of it was that she thought I'd get annoyed with all the notifications I'd receive.

I can't help but feel a bit left out and slighted. I've always considered myself close to my family, and we get together for birthdays and Christmas every year. I've even organized a few gatherings in the past myself! Part of me feels silly for being upset but part of me can’t shake the feeling that I’m being deliberately excluded. I also feel awkward about raising it with anyone for fear of seeming needy or making it a bigger deal than it is.

Am I being petty for feeling this way? Should I just let it go, or is it worth saying something?

Thanks for any advice you can offer.

Yours sincerely,
Feeling Left Out

What would you do in their shoes? Let everyone know in the comments! Got something on your mind? Share your stories here.

 

[Britt]

First of all ,do you enjoy a good relationship with your family?If the answer is yes then I would talk honestly to them and tell them how you feel..On the other hand,if you do not have a good relationship with them,well,why would you want to be included?

 

[NIBOR0]

I think you should email your niece and let her know that you would love to be invited to the group chat if for nothing else, to stay better connected with what's going on in the family. As for the added notifications, isn't that what staying connected is all about?

 

[Gayle B.]

I might inform your relation that you would appreciate being on the list. I think her reasoning to exclude you is a steaming pile of garbage.

 

[Rusty Vale]

I would bring it to her attention and give you a chance. If you decide you don't want all the notifications, you can always opt out.