[Sophia M.]

Front Porch Forum: "Should I give up my car even though I still feel perfectly capable behind the wheel?" (10/07/2025)​

When the road feels right—but everyone says it’s time to stop driving. Image source: Pexels

Pull up a seat, GrayViners. “Still Steady at the Wheel” is facing a crossroads familiar to many—when loved ones start questioning your independence. How do you know when to let go of the keys, or when to trust your own sense of readiness?

Hi all,

Driving has been more than a way to get around. It has been my freedom, my rhythm, my quiet joy. I’ve taken road trips with my wife, picked up grandkids from school, delivered meals to sick neighbors, all behind the wheel of a well-loved, always-clean sedan. I’m not reckless. I know my limits. But my son says it's time to hang up the keys.

Yes, I forgot where I parked once. Yes, a curb jumped out at me on a rainy evening. But I still feel sharp. My doctor hasn’t said anything. My license is valid. I still check blind spots and yield when I should. And yet, the moment I sit in the driver's seat, I hear that voice in my head whispering doubt.

I don’t want to wait for an accident to prove him wrong. But I also don’t want to surrender something that makes me feel like myself. Is wanting to hold on to my independence the same as being stubborn? Or is this just another way the world chips away at who we are as we age?

Wondering whose road I’m on,
Still Steady at the Wheel

What do you think, GrayViners? Have you faced the same moment—when family meant well but your heart still longed for the wheel? How did you know when it was time to pull over, or keep going a little farther? Share your stories and advice below. And if you’ve got a life crossroad of your own, start a conversation here.

 

[Treetops]

I live in a senior building. Many have cars, and have voiced, they don`t feel it`s time to give up their independence. I never enjoyed driving, mostly because of others on the road, so because the car, needed repairs, due to just sitting, I use a local bus service.It`s easy, and free. I save on all the expenses of car ownership, and it frees up for other purchases. Now, my 75 yr old friend has had me ride along, and be her crash dummy. She often sits too long waiting for a different shade of green, and the beeping begins. She will say....Why are they blowing their horns? She hit a pothole so hard, she lost the hubcap, and bent the rim. She has forgotten where the car is, and has problems pumping gas. I have stopped going, in hopes she won`t ride alone, but it hasn`t changed anything. She thinks she does fine, but didn`t flinch when running the red light.... that was me. So what I`m saying, is sometimes you need a crash dummy to ride along, and be honest. She says she`s not ready to give up her car. I just hope everyone lives through it. Best wishes to you.

 

[tennis]

I have a 92 yr old friend, who insist on driving, but has no license , because of failing the doctors eye test. She insist on sneaking around and driving any way. I know her eye sight is bad. she called a rooster the other day a goose, that is what she saw. She is trying to think of a way to out smart the police, so she can drive again. I am scared for other people and her.

 

[Gayle B.]

My grandfather had the same issue. After being frustrated my dad finally convinced his father that it might be time to hang up his keys dad took him to the DMV to take a written test and for an instructer to take him for a driving test. Fortunately for my grandfather he passed with flying colors. Would that work for you? It turned out well for us.

 

[techgrandma]

We were dealing with the same concern with my Mother. My brother, sister, and I discussed it among ourselves and were unsure how to deal with it. Lucky for us, the doctor brought it up. Mom didn't agree with her, but waited until we were out of the office to say anything. She looked at us and said, "Did you hear her. She said that she suggested I give up driving. Why would I do that?" That allowed us to open the conversation. I looked at her and told her I agreed with the doctor. We are not trying to be mean, but want her to be safe. She didn't comment, but I could tell she was thinking about it. She never drove since that day so that took care of that problem for us.

 

[NIBOR0]

I was recently in an accident. The only accident I've ever had since high school. I backed into this lady's car and thought that I had just hit the curb and contonued into the Arby's drive-thru lane. All of a sudden I see this young woman in scrubs running up to my car. I opened the door as the window is broken and she said "Do you realize that you just crunched my car? Didn't you hear me honk?" I hadn't heard the horn as I had had the radio up pretty high. Boy was I rattled. I had to go thru the line, (as there was no way out of it once in it) I parked behind Arby's. She had followed me all the way through the drive-thru like I was going to take off or something. I scrambled in my glove box for my proof of insurance only to find out that it showed expired. When we moved here a year ago, I had a printer and was able to print out things like my proof of insurance, I knew there was a way to find it on my phone and I'm not very phone savvy but finally found the Progressive app and showed her a picture of the insurance cards. She then took a picture of those. I got out of the car and there was just a scratch on my rear driver's side bumper. I didn't even look at her car. She was freaking out because I had just come from the hospital and still had one of their paper ID bracelets on. She asked why I didn't have someone to drive me and had I been sedated at the hospital. I explained that I had just had a procedure called a Paracentesis where they drain fluid out of my abdomen. Anyway, I assured her that I was fine, a bit rattled, but fine. I got back into the drive-thru because I was hungry, that hadn't changed. I still couldn't stop shaking. Now, a couple of weeks later, I'm super paranoid when I drive, not wanting to get into another accident. Do you think they should take my keys? I think not. I'm just not there yet but feel that I will know when the time has come for me to hang up my keys. If you don't want to give up your keys and are still driving well and safely, I don't see why you would have to give up your keys. By the way, I'm 64 years old if anyone was wondering.