[Sophia M.]

General Discussion Thread 08.02.2025​

Hello GrayViners,

This morning, I found myself thinking about a moment that shaped me more than I realized at the time. I was 18—fresh out of high school, standing in a cramped apartment with nothing but a suitcase, and the kind of determination only teenagers seem to have.

So now I’m curious:
At what age were you truly independent of your parents?

Image source: Unsplash/Alicia Christin Gerald

Was it about moving out, supporting yourself, or just knowing you were in charge of your own life? And how did that moment feel?

Let’s share our stories.

Love,
Sophia

 

[NIBOR0]

When I turned 18 I couldn't wait to move out. My freshman year of college, we were required to stay in the dorms but they stopped that rule my sophomore year. My first apartment was a basement apartment. I had copied all of my favorite recipes from Mom's recipe box and she helped me with the tableware and cookware that I needed. The kitchen didn't have any cabinets so my best friend and soon-to-be roomate went behind a grocery store late at night and stole those plastic milk holder boxes. I took them home strung them up from a tree, spun them and spray painted them. When stacked, they held all of my tableware and cookware for the apartment. The apartment had red shag carpet that even ran up the walls to the ceiling. My TV was an old black and white with antennas. I brought my queen size water bed from home. There were no closets so Brenda and I had to purchase 2 clothing racks to hang our clothes from. Our apartment ran 1/2 of the basement with a wall in between. My future 1st husband lived in the adjoining apartment on the other side of a wall. Man did we have some parties!!!

 

[tennis]

I was still living at home at 20. I had my own beauty shop, but had NO reason to leave home. I got engaged and married at 21 and moved out the night that I became a Mrs. That lasted over 42 yrs than the Lord took him.

 

[jerry]

I left home at 19, by joing the USAF. Both parents were ex-army, so I was fairly well used to military commands and doing what I was told the first time! After service i went to nursing school to be a LPN, then a few years later put myself thru RN school
All while raising a set of twins on my own. Worked 32 years in nursing, never regretting one dsy!

 

[Congomom]

At 17 as soon as I graduated high school to get away from my rapist stepfather.

 

[Hazeleyes]

I moved out the day I turned 17 to live with my boyfriend. I was still in high school and worked 3 part time jobs.

 

[Gayle B.]

I graduated high school halfway thru my senior year. I did that so when I turned 18 in February I could legally leave home to enlist in the Air Force. It was definitely the right decision. Although I lived in a female only dorm room I still had to manage my finances and furnish my room aside from the mandatory items. I got married to another service member. That was 53 years ago! Best decision I ever made other than marrying the right man!

 

[Gibb]

To tell the truth I'm not sure I ever did before they passed. My mother died when I was.17. I then married a real gem. He was abusive and hateful.y dad passed when I was 28. I have been married now to a great guy for 43 years. I guess when my dad died I stopped relying on him. I miss him everyday

 

[glojeans13]

I was 19 years old and I had enlisted in the United States Navy

 

[Sophia M.]

When I turned 18 I couldn't wait to move out. My freshman year of college, we were required to stay in the dorms but they stopped that rule my sophomore year. My first apartment was a basement apartment. I had copied all of my favorite recipes from Mom's recipe box and she helped me with the tableware and cookware that I needed. The kitchen didn't have any cabinets so my best friend and soon-to-be roomate went behind a grocery store late at night and stole those plastic milk holder boxes. I took them home strung them up from a tree, spun them and spray painted them. When stacked, they held all of my tableware and cookware for the apartment. The apartment had red shag carpet that even ran up the walls to the ceiling. My TV was an old black and white with antennas. I brought my queen size water bed from home. There were no closets so Brenda and I had to purchase 2 clothing racks to hang our clothes from. Our apartment ran 1/2 of the basement with a wall in between. My future 1st husband lived in the adjoining apartment on the other side of a wall. Man did we have some parties!!!

Thank you for painting such a clear picture. You found creative solutions and made that first space truly your own. That kind of determination and heart stays with you. I'm really glad you shared this.

 

[Sophia M.]

I was still living at home at 20. I had my own beauty shop, but had NO reason to leave home. I got engaged and married at 21 and moved out the night that I became a Mrs. That lasted over 42 yrs than the Lord took him.

You built something strong and steady before ever leaving home, and it’s so touching to hear about your long marriage. Thank you for opening up. That journey is full of love and strength.

 

[Sophia M.]

I left home at 19, by joing the USAF. Both parents were ex-army, so I was fairly well used to military commands and doing what I was told the first time! After service i went to nursing school to be a LPN, then a few years later put myself thru RN school
All while raising a set of twins on my own. Worked 32 years in nursing, never regretting one dsy!

Your path is full of courage and resilience. From serving your country to raising twins while studying and working in nursing, you’ve given so much. Thank you for sharing a life story filled with quiet strength.

 

[Sophia M.]

At 17 as soon as I graduated high school to get away from my rapist stepfather.

I’m so sorry for what you went through. It takes a great deal of bravery to share something so personal. Thank you for trusting us with your story. Your voice matters here, and we’re holding it with care.

 

[Sophia M.]

I moved out the day I turned 17 to live with my boyfriend. I was still in high school and worked 3 part time jobs.

Leaving home so young and juggling school with three jobs says so much about your inner strength. That couldn’t have been easy. Thank you for being here and for sharing a part of yourself with us.

 

[Sophia M.]

I graduated high school halfway thru my senior year. I did that so when I turned 18 in February I could legally leave home to enlist in the Air Force. It was definitely the right decision. Although I lived in a female only dorm room I still had to manage my finances and furnish my room aside from the mandatory items. I got married to another service member. That was 53 years ago! Best decision I ever made other than marrying the right man!

It sounds like you made bold choices with a clear sense of purpose, and I’m so glad those steps led you to something lasting and good. Thank you for your service and for sharing this beautiful part of your life.

 

[Sophia M.]

To tell the truth I'm not sure I ever did before they passed. My mother died when I was.17. I then married a real gem. He was abusive and hateful.y dad passed when I was 28. I have been married now to a great guy for 43 years. I guess when my dad died I stopped relying on him. I miss him everyday

Your honesty is incredibly moving. You’ve lived through a lot and still found room for love and peace. Thank you for letting us in. That kind of openness is a gift to this space.

 

[Sophia M.]

I was 19 years old and I had enlisted in the United States Navy

Enlisting at 19 is a brave step, and we’re grateful for your service. Thank you for sharing when that moment of independence came for you. It means a lot.