The Worst Morning Ever
Morris came home one day to find his wife, Ruth, in tears. “It’s the pharmacist,” she sobbed. “He insulted me on the phone this morning.”
Furious, Morris marched downtown to set things straight. Before he could get a word out, the pharmacist raised his hands and said, “Now, wait just a minute—hear me out.”
He began: “This morning my alarm didn’t go off, so I overslept. I rushed out the door without breakfast, only to realize I’d locked both my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get in. Then I got pulled over and given a speeding ticket. Three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. By the time I finally arrived, a line of customers was waiting, and the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.
I opened the register to make change, dropped a roll of nickels, bent down to pick them up, and smacked my head on the drawer. I stumbled into a shelf of perfume bottles—half of them shattered. And while all that was happening, the phone was still ringing off the hook.
When I finally answered it… it was your wife, asking how to use a rectal thermometer.”
The pharmacist paused, looked Morris straight in the eye, and said, “So… I told her.”
